June 26th

Abby took this picture **

5 AM. Can’t sleep anymore. Just happy to be in Miami.

We went to Whole Foods and almost bought their entire produce section. Abby was so excited she started eating the grapes straight from the container while riding around in the cart.

Can’t get a good variety of fruits or vegtables on Tralfamadore.

When we got to the hotel room, she took off her clothes, ran around stark naked eating watermelon, cantaloupe, and strawberries, excitedly burbling, “Mmmmmm!”

Poor baby.

Do you want to know one of the cruelest injustices of living on a planet like Tralfamadore?

While you’re there, you pretty much live on a starvation diet ’cause there’s no food. So your stomach shrinks to accomodate.

Then you come back to a place like Miami and want to pig out, but you get stuffed on the bread platter before your main course even arrives.

One American meal is sufficient to last you the entire day.

That, my friends, is what I call cruel and unusual punishment. I tell you whut.

For you Replacements fans out there, check out this live set I found from a hard to find 1989 compilation titled “Shit, Shower & Shave”.

Those guys were funny.

P.S. We’re glad the Oakton Astros are O.K.

Stupid women driving Jeeps should not run red lights and T-Bone other Jeeps. Especially when there are little children inside.

** Photo by Abby.

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WHO IS VANCE ASTRO?

The idiot in the chicken suit waving at your car as you speed down the Highway of Life.

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